“I Painted My Fingernails A Rainbow…” (a new poem)

photos by Robert Patrick and Ian MacKinnon

premiered on March 20, 2017 @ Planet Queer:Resist
(poem is  meant as a live performance, taking on personas and displaying each color on each finger as mentioned in the parentheses next to first line)

I painted my fingernails a rainbow
So you would know what kind of person I am

     (right pinky)
Here on the pinky a dollop so dinky
But powerful, potent and purposely pink
Within its tiny confines my little girl dream twinkles
To distract from all the growing wrinkles
To nab something drab and transform the norm – pink!
Once upon a time you might think it was weak
But have you not seen its profound power united
Not tickled but ticked off pink and taking no more shit
From the stink of a government most foul
Pink is strength imparted from its corresponding tender parts
Oh pink! Always on the brink of something fun
Oh pink! Queerest shade under the sun
Pink! Pink! Pink! I don’t think I could squeal any more in delight
Than I do for you, pink!

     (left pinky)
And on the other hand reflecting time so refined 
The regal and stately shade known as purple
Properly placed for my dainty old lady to sip her tea
In calm and comfort with a sense of high society
Not wishing any harm just wisdom upon everyone
Well respected as reflected through the ages like the sages
Dressed in various sensible shades and bountiful brocades glorious purple
The perspicacity of plum, the vibrancy of violet
The exquisite ambiance imbued by amethyst
Or the light lift that you get as a gift from lavender
Exalted and vaulted in its holiness and royalty
Purposefully elegant and tastefully poignant purple

     (both thumbs)
Now hang loose you’ll find on my hand’s caboose 
My apprehensible and indispensable opposable green thumbs
To represent the lush Eden inside me
Both the untamed jungles of sensuous mystery within
Along side my meticulously groomed hothouse
Should I still be found sucking my thumb
It means I’ve come to enjoy the endless green pastures of delight
All manner of savory succulents and forbidden fruits of this here fruit
For that is how my garden grows
But also where my envy shows
I hope my bitter herbs aren’t tossed in the mix too often
A little spice when I’m not feeling nice
For should I bite my thumb at you- it is indeed intended as an insult
What can I say, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry
And the green you be seeing is the grass in your face from the foot in your ass
It’s only natural – green

     (ring finger left hand)
Watch out! Pay attention! Look here!
You’ve been warned, but don’t be too alarmed dear fellow
That beneath the warm and sunny mellow disposition
To be faced with vibrant vivid livid not really so timid yellow
Now, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t fear
That you’ll dismiss me as a mere lilting daffodil or dandelion
You can paint me a coward yellow
But whatever might dribble down my pant leg metaphorically
Is merely one moment of this bold and buttery blonde – so beware!
Should I release my wits upon you’ll be showered and certainly not in praise
Like the wasp or bee that stings you will feel my burn
Caution is required for such awesomeness acquired
Highlighted in the accent of yellow

(ring finger right hand)
Which brings us now to blue
Among the throngs a frequent favorite hue
Not just for baby boys, but go on paint up your beards
And release your tension lest I mention coloring your balls — ew, anything but blue
Sunk into a funk of a somber mood indigo
But there we go from time to time to understand our depths
Where blue bruises forge tearful rivulets
The weight of one regret heaped upon yet another overwhelming
Moments cut off too soon – never quite captured completely
Fleeting glimpses – come back I miss you midnight blueness –
All knotted up and gnarled tight lingering in the throat
Things that were never said or said with dread until all blue in the face
Rejected neglected restricted conflicted I need to moan ——
Why do I feel so damn alone?!?!
Sorrow yesterday today and tomorrow
Give me strength to embrace navy blue  – shock me into awareness electric blue
Let me let go this burden and soar once more into the vast and wild blue yonder!
Soaring high into the sky blue
Oh, yes, give me smooth soothing baby blue I love you
How could I not stay true with blue!?

     (middle finger left hand)
Now, how to define a color that defies to rhyme
The brash and bold, does not always do what is told, orange
But do not get me started on he who shall not be named but is disgusting everywhere!
That atrocity hypocrisy disgrace to the human race and an abuse of the color – ugh!
But yes orange can be gaudy and audacious, bawdy and salacious
Like daggers in the eyes of sensibility
So feisty and zesty in testing the limits of taste
Tart and tangy, sweet and sultry
Appropriate color for a citrus fruit and much more to boot
The chakra source of our creative and sexy self
Sending vibrations to our imaginations from mild to wild
Orange ubiquitously encapsulates an entire season of autumnal splendor
From falling leaves to all hallowed eves
So wicked when you need it to be
So cute as a pumpkin as required
Abounding and astounding so, go for it already!
Orange you glad you did?

     (middle finger right hand)
Which brings us now to red.
A moment of silence please to experience the dread
Such a striking stunning cunning color
Worn in all the right places and dressed to impress
That brings a rise to the pitter patter of anticipation
What could be more sexy
Bite into the red apple and feel the rush
Cheeks blush, lips drip and bosoms blossom with bright and rosy radiance
What could be more thrilling – and simultaneously chilling
Because we know what a serpent lies ready to strike at any given moment
A venomous furious rush of emotion – red
Cut us open and spill our blood – red
Wrap us in ribbons, bandage our wounds, paint the town – red
Are you seeing nothing but it – red
Are we drowning as the world heats up – red
And more than a scarlet fever has reached a ferocious fervor in our head
The animosity of otherness overwhelming all our senses
Political fires burning bridges, burning crosses
Witness the witless demise of our society!
No! Fuck you red!
We are ready to serve it right back
Red revolution
Red resistance
Red rage
God damn you, mother fucking, what the hell is happening
If we keep this up we’ll all end up dead red!!!!!!

     (both index fingers)
Only when the black and the white the yin and the yang
Unite might everything be alright
Adjusting the teeter totter balance of the universe
Such sensational dancers through time and space
Combining all the colors, removing all the colors
The blending of sight and the absence of light
Reset restore renew refresh reveal rebegin
Everything and nothing
Tranquility and clarity
In the realm of possibility
There is so much to be said about black and white
But they speak volumes for themselves in voluptuous wavelengths of silence

As I gaze upon these fingertips I am reminded
That we contain all of this and more
A kaleidoscopic collage of colors and contradictions
We contain Whitman’s multitudes
And in the patterned patchwork of color
A most dramatic chromatic diorama
My fingertips are bright little signposts
Tell tale transmissions
Of this is who I am
This is what I am here to be
And I see the prism you imprison behind yours as well
Free the full spectrum of who you are

I painted my fingernails a rainbow
So you would know what kind of person I am

Footnote: (taking off shoes to reveal…)
As you know at the end of every rainbow
We’ve been told to find a pot of gold
So here goes –  enjoy my glittered toes!

the ReBegin is here